


The Search for... Glory.

by ozsaur, trillingstar



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Bad Art, Crack, Edutainment, M/M, On Purpose, Picspam, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-02
Updated: 2012-02-02
Packaged: 2017-11-10 02:11:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/461120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ozsaur/pseuds/ozsaur, https://archiveofourown.org/users/trillingstar/pseuds/trillingstar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>JOHN IN A PITH HELMET<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	The Search for... Glory.

**Author's Note:**

> Contains overflowing cracktastification. Purposefully cracky "art." Not too many words, but lots of pictures. One possibly NSFW diagram (though anatomically correct) (and cartoonish).
> 
> Done up for prompt #36, dare, on [sga-saturday](http://sga-saturday.livejournal.com).  
> 

  
**The Search for Rodney's Prostate**  
An Atlantean Adventure, vol. 69.

After many a mishap and many wrong turns, we find our heroes undertaking yet another adventure...

It all begins on one clear, bright Atlantean morning... after a long, hard evening of acrobatic sex... 

Something is amiss.

  


"Urrrrgggh..."

"Good morning, sunshine!"

And Rodney's like, "John. We have to talk."

_Whyyyyyyyy?_

So they talk. 

Well, Rodney talks. 

"Oh, and also..."

And John's all, "I'm pretttty sure I know what I'm doing."

"Let me use small words this time..." Rodney says.

And John's like, "Shyeah right! I KNOW STUFF!"

Rodney says, "Look, it's fine, it's cool. We'll just have to do some research."

At first, John says, "Forget it, no way, no how."

LA - LA - LA!

...but then Rodney makes it into a _dare_.

And John is like, "Oh, it is ON."

Our heroes tackle ~~each other~~ the books.

Time passes...

John gets bored.

"This isn't working. Maybe some practical experience?  
Rodney, I'm sure I can find it!"

"I love adventures!"

"I've got great detecting skills."

"Oh, sure," Rodney says. "Let me just draw you a map."

"I'm actually kind of familiar with Guam," John says, looking shifty.

"Oh my god, of course you are," Rodney replies.

Rodney looks pensive. "Remember back in the day... 

Long, long ago...

When you had to pull over and ask for directions.  
Not that I ever did," Rodney clarifies. "Because I never got lost.  
But you, you were probably pulling over all the time...

And I only know this from what other people have told me, but  
remember how somehow, you always got some goober telling you where to go...

_"Ya have ta go back three miles, or five, depending..._

...hang a left at the Hanson place that burned down back in '93... but you cain't really get theah from heah,

you have to go the next town ova and start from there."

Suddenly there was a breakthrough.

!!!

"Okay, I found something in the database... go on, activate it, Sheppard."

*ding!*

"Hunh..."

"Press the selection button!"

AND MUCH WAS LEARNED ON THAT DAY.

AND OUR HEROES WERE VICTORIOUS. 

The end.

 

.Outtake.

John's Plan B involved military maneuvers.  
"Flanking, Rodney! And two centralized points of attack!"

  


**Author's Note:**

> This bit of nonsense was conceived earlier today, when I was reading yet another fic where our hero searched high and low and sideways for our other hero's prostate. There was a lot of searching. 
> 
> trillingstar: I'm looking for this picture  
> trillingstar: that I love and adore  
> trillingstar: that I want to post in comments every time someone has to search for the prostate  
> ozsaur: I'm putting on my pith helmet and mounting an expedition  
> ozsaur: ← said mounting during a prostate expedition  
> trillingstar: *shows pic*  
> ozsaur: OMG you made me laugh  
> ozsaur: laugh and laugh  
> trillingstar: I TOLD YOU RIGHT  
> ozsaur: you know what? post that to your LJ  
> ozsaur: and say... look, peeps, you don't have to put on your pith helmet and go on safari to find the prostate  
> trillingstar: you don't even have to try very hard at all  
> trillingstar: two knuckles in should do the trick  
> trillingstar: on the finger that's like, an inch.  
> ozsaur: LOL  
>   
> Also it was clear that Rodney would need to dare John into anything because they are twelve.  
>   
>  **TL;DR** JOHN IN A PITH HELMET  
> 


End file.
